His & Hers Billionaires: On Money, Marriage and God

Ages: Late 20s
Hometowns: Baltimore, MD and Chicago, IL
Phrase that describes our relationship with money: Undercover-Billionaire-ish
Phrase that describes my parents’…: Make the most with what you have and create an inheritance for your children’s children.
Our 21-day goal: Sacrificial team-building experience with my future spouse regarding money. Gain a better understanding of money's purpose in our lives.
Our weaknesses: Buying random stuff when it's on sale, electronics. Justifying purchases based on where we live (NYC-area): eating out, taking cabs.
Our fear for these 21 days: Carrying cash everywhere (no cards); forgetting we're actually on the fast.
What we will miss most: Hmm….

“His”… I live in Stamford CT, about 30 miles from Harlem. Luckily, my firm pays for my breakfast and lunch every day. As such, I typically have very light dinners at home. My spending weaknesses are electronics and online shopping. This fast means I will have to avoid coupon websites to avoid temptation. Each month, I typically spend about $50-100 on books. So this fast will allow Kristen (my fiancée) and I to read through all the books we already have. Next, it means carrying cash on me. Driving is my exclusive method of transportation. So I am now much more intentional about budgeting matters related to the car, e.g. gasoline, oil changes, etc.

As one part of RADIKL (Richard Albert + Divine intervention + Kristen Lauren), a lot of my discretionary spending goes towards eating out, gifts and entertainment. This fast means our time together will be much more about preparing for our days and interacting with each other.

Sunday, we went grocery shopping, buying groceries so we can cook at home rather than eat out. We planned our first “free” date together for this past Saturday, which included a walk and picnic. A few days into the fast, Kristen had already held me accountable because I mentioned buying a picnic blanket for our date. She informed me that such was not a necessary purchase and that we should use one of the many extra sheets at our homes.

I was raised by a middle class, single mother who was very transparent about finances and made it a point to do without so I could have. My life changed at the beginning of college when was forced to retire on disability from her job. The rest of my family, while wealthier, had spent so much that they didn’t have anything left over for me. This is when I learned that God is my provider, as I received supernatural favor both in eliminating past debts and paying for costs in years to come. Since graduation, I have sought to treat money as a resource not just for now, but for emergencies, giving and retirement. I work in financial services, which means that denying myself has always been a choice rather than a necessity.

As I prepare for marriage with Kristen, sharing this experience in holding each other accountable is a valuable experience that will better align us financially as we move forward together.

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“Hers”…This fast has already begun to reveal some critical eye-opening points for Richard and me. Harlem has served as my home for the last five years and I have picked up much of the culture. Eating out and taking cabs are my spending weaknesses and both have become financially reckless conveniences. My budget suffers the most because of these two luxuries. So, I am finding that I have to plan my time much better. By planning my time, I have to be intentional about cooking and getting out of the house earlier so that public transportation doesn’t hinder me from being on time. In addition, based on my bills and personal expenses, I find that I need a higher paying job! I spend more than I make mostly due to me being a big giver and those two pesky conveniences I spoke of before.

The fast is also revealing the insecurities and worries Richard has about money. I would like to spend to live as though I have a Billionaire-budget and Richard would like to live as though we actually have billions. But we don’t need to spend it. Hopefully, we can find a compromise.

There are a few major focuses that I believe R.P. III and I should be diligent about doing during this fast: spending more time seeking God where our finances are concerned, trusting God to provide all our needs, and discovering ways we can save money.

My family resides in Miami, Florida and by the world’s standards are considered to be upper middle class to wealthy. However, their finances were not always like that. To the extent that finances were an issue, I did not know that growing up. My parents have spent much of their life sacrificing and making decisions so that my siblings and I could have the best opportunities. As such, I am not used to doing without. When I left my “good paying job” a little over a year ago to focus on non-profit work, I lost a lot of my saving and spending power. It has been a struggle, especially living in New York City.

Also, I don’t really have any fears on this fast; rather I am hopeful that as on part of RADIKL, we will have learned a lot and be better for it!

Signing off,

His & Hers